Bail Money

Please have some ready because I'm positive that I will kill someone today.

I walk into work 15 minutes early and I'm immediately accosted by 17 different things. I set my bags down and start getting things sorted. Right away, my boss lady comes to have a "little chat" with me.

BL: Yesterday an expert called and asked for the number to (former employee)'s new job and you told him you could give him any information.

T: Actually, I told him that I didn't have any information. I only have the name of his new job.

BL: But you also have the number.

T: No, I don't. When I asked you for the contact information yesterday, you said that you didn't have it either.

BL: No, you specifically asked for the DID number. And I don't have that.

T: I don't even know what a DID number is, so I DID NOT ask you for that. I asked for ANY contact info since I receive all of the requests.

BL: Why didn't you use the number (employee) emailed to you?

T: Because (employee) never emailed me a number. THAT'S why I asked you for info.

BL: NO! You asked for DID numbers...

Really, lady?! That's how you want to come at me first thing in the morning BEFORE I've clocked in? Fine. Don't be surprised when I'm less than chipper doing a job that you're claiming I dropped the ball on, when it was you who failed to provide me with the tools I need. (I didn't ask her for DID numbers, btw. I asked several people for any new forwarding number before I went to her and they've agreed to back me up.)

Next up: I burned my asiago, turkey and Swiss bagel sandwich. Totally my fault but three people sat in the lounge WATCHING IT BURN and did nothing. And then they sat there and complained about the smell. Seriously, geniuses?!?!

And finally, this angry bitter little anti-social man whom no one likes started on my case this morning about his fucking coffee. I don't make coffee for employees. I'm not a fucking secretary. But I do set up the conference rooms for guests. Out of the kindness of my heart, I set them up a bit early so that he can get some of the coffee that I make. And what does this shithead do? He comes in, takes the coffee away from the maker (and creating a huge mess that I have to clean up), and then complains that the carafe isn't working. YES, MOTHERFUCKER IT IS. IT'S A GODDAMN STRAW SO YOU'LL HAVE TO PUMP IT A FEW TIMES TO GET THE COFFEE UP IT. Of course the second I go to test it, it works fine. What a goddamn moron.

Only a half hour into my day and I'm already fed up. When you see my on the news because I've burned down this building with everyone in it, send me brownies, cookies, cakes, etc. Because that shit is awesome in prison.

This is especially awful because yesterday was so great. After a normal stressful Monday, I went home to a sparkling clean tub, a happy and well fed puppy, and a great dinner. Eggo has been nothing but great. Too bad my work life is shitty today...