Needy, Bitchy, Hormonal, and Moody

And I can't blame it on BPD (even though I REALLY want to!)...

*Boys: This might get squicky! There will be talk of girly stuff. And by that, I mean periods. You've been warned...

You know what really sucks? Being kind of a medical freak. I have a host of crazy things going on in this awesome body of mine. You already know about the BPD. Up next: Crohn's disease! Yup! I contracted that from being anorexic/bulimic for too long in college (stupid dance professors!). I'm in remission, but everyone in a while I get flare ups. Not. Fun. Next? That would be being legally blind in one eye. Hmmm...what else? Oh yeah! I have the worst lady parts stuff. My period comes on every 21 days. Without fail. Unless I go crazy with the meds (frequently) and then it comes on whenever it damn well pleases. For example: This weekend after only two weeks of reprieve. And EVERY GODDAMN TIME it hurts so bad, I'd strangle a boyscout to get some Demoral to KILL THE PAIN (seriously, I have to go to the ER for a shot sometimes). Also, massive flow (sorry boys! I did warn you...) to the point where I feel like I should be sitting in a menstrual pit. It's gross, even for me.

I've listed these things to say that the human body is completely fucked up and yet still kinda awesome. I can go through this shit and my heart continues to beat. My lungs continue to take in and expel air. My mind continues to function and think up insult for the random passerby who offends me with their fashion sense or their horrible BO. I've also listed them so that I can no longer use them as excuses. I'm really bad at using random medical maladies as excuses for my awful behavior. Of course there are some things that are legitimately caused by these but not nearly as many as I blame.

I said all that to say this:

I spent the entire weekend with Mohawk at my condo this weekend. We did nothing but eat, watch, TV, stay in bed, bicker, and fight. Usually, I love this kind of thing. But I apparently have a mean and hurtful streak that kept zinging him the whole weekend. Ooops. My first reaction was to blame my period but then I'd forgotten to tell him that it came on (I'm pretty sure he suspected though since I didn't jump him for sex the whole two days). So I just blamed it on my own frustrations. But I kept doing it! Little zingers that I know hurt his feelings (btw, he did it to me a couple of times too). So now I feel awful. I always thought that I wouldn't hurt anyone that I actually cared about. I really wish I could blame it on something that isn't in my control, like the medical stuff. The fact remains that I hurt his feelings for no reason. I'm a schmuck.

So I'm sorry, Mohawk. I didn't mean to be so snarky. I'm sure you're completely over it, but I feel like stir fried shit.

**I am NOT sorry about what happened with the colander! It sucks that you got burned but next time PUT THE DAMN THING DOWN when I tell you to! And don't tell me to pour hot water correctly. Who the fuck holds a colander when someone else is pouring in it? Really...