I saw a ghost from my past today. I swore it was him. I just knew it. He had the same smile, the same hair, the same height, even the same silly walk. I glimpsed him out of the corner of my eye and my entire body responded. I felt my heart speed up. My legs cramped with the desire to jump up and run over to him and shout "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! I FUCKING MISSED YOU!!!!" I even felt the tears well up in my eyes because it's been over five years and the sight of him still causes me to react. I stood up and straining my eyes, my heart, and my mind, praying that it really was him. Please God. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease...
It was a stranger.
As he got closer, he had a harsh dissonant laugh and a conceited arrogant air. He didn't even have the accent that would have flowed from his mouth so smooth and familiar, but foreign. He was just another yuppie douchebag that I see everyday downtown. But for a few fleeting seconds, he was Michael.
It's been five years. Five years and I thought I was over this phase of wishing that it was all the worst nightmare imaginable. Nope. I'm holding on to my childish game of 'Just Pretend'.
Time heals all wounds? Bullshit. It just calcifies your heart until there is nothing left to heal. I'm not making any sense, I know.
Just know this: The pain never goes away. Never.
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